The Office

I had an early morning. I woke up around 2:00am after forgetting to take my medication. Facing the insomnia that has accompanied my depression, I set to work. I gathered what strength I had and sat down at the desk and composed emails. I logged on to Facebook and connected with kids back home.

Erik joined me around 4:00am, still in the battle against jet lag. After sharing some coffee, we jumped into the day. We began by contacting kids that still need to turn in their health forms for Woodleaf and Summer Blast. We spent time talking with kids about how they can raise the rest of the money they owe for camp. It was good to hear from our young friends and to hear that they are doing well.

Then we started planning the lessons for Summer Blast. We will be working through the book of 1 John. In his letter, John focuses on Jesus's command to love each other, and that in doing so we love God. We're beginning to look forward to this time of discipleship.

Around eleven Anji showed up at the office and sat down to start making phone calls, registering kids for camp. Soon after, Magnai came in, and sat down with Erik to look at sound systems. Gerlee came next and worked with Anji on registration. Soon Taivan came in and we sat down for a bible study in Psalm 90.

We looked at the power of God, at our ephemeral existence on this planet, and at the work that has been set before us. With that, we set about our tasks in a flurry of productivity. All gathered around a single desk in the middle of the room, Erik and Magnai picked out the sound system that they need, Anji and Gerlee finished registration, Taivan helped with registration and later practiced his club talks with Erik, and I listened to a recording of 1 John and took notes for camp back home and then practiced guitar with Magnai.

Needless to say, it was a busy afternoon around the office. But it was very productive. I feel we have become more a part of what is happening this summer in Mongolia. We are equipping and encouraging. But we are also building relationships over the adventure of Korean food and foreign cinematic experience.

After a movie with the team, Erik and I are back at the office for the evening. It's been a long day, but well worth it. I can say I've faded in and out. But little moments bring me back, whether it's sharing music with a new brother, or laughing at the Mongolian summer blizzard of cottonwood dust floating through the air, through the car, into Anji's nose, or sitting around a table, eating as a family. It makes it all worth it.

Tonight, this doesn't feel like an office. It feels like a home.

The Team

Yesterday we woke up early and wandered around the city. It's a quiet place in the mornings, with a cool breeze blowing the cottonwood through the streets. After a light breakfast we returned to the apartment and found the Young Life team waiting for us. Once we were packed the fourteen of us headed out to the countryside to plan camp.

The camp is tucked up in the hills in the middle of a birch tree forest. It used to be a Russian youth camp. The buildings are comprised of awkward angles and bright colors, thick glass windows and uneven steps. But the place is beautiful. Green and blue fill every view, spotted by yellow, orange and purple flowers, and the white bark of the birch.

We spent time that afternoon sharing our stories, about how each of us came to know Christ and how we came to be involved with Young Life. Instantly I had new friends. Magnei, Bilgah, and Angie are all young staff members working with Taivan. The rest of the team were members of Young Life's Developing Global Leaders program (DGL).

The DGL kids, for the most part, came to know Christ in the last few years at camp, and are all eighteen or nineteen. It's strange to think that these are the ones God has chosen to run Young Life for the whole country of Mongolia, and that we had the honor of spending the last two days with them.

The thing is, I'm older than all of them except Bilgah, who is my age, and Magnei and Taivan who are a few years older. And this is the country's leadership. This is their Colorado team, their National team. And they seem to think that we are something special, that we know so much more because we run Young Life in little Fowler and Sanger. But between us, Johnny and Jane, and Cliff, we are all the Young Life they know. It is incredibly humbling.

We spent time together planning camp, working on program, planning games, and reviewing the big question of "Why?" One of our goals is to leave this young team with the understanding of why we do things so that when we are gone they can continue to be intentional in their time with kids, rather than just doing what has always been done.

After all the planning was done, we gathered at the basketball court and played several games. This is such a fun team to work with, and they love each other so well. It's a case of people being people wherever you go. Laughter is the universal language.

This morning we woke up late and prepared to head back to Ulan Bator. We are now sitting outside of Millie's Espresso, a cafe in the capitol that is owned and run by a friend of Ruth Goble's. Millie wasn't in today, but it was nice to have the Fowler connection all the way across the Pacific.

It's a stormy day in UB, clouds everywhere, thunder in the distance, cottonwood dancing in the street. The rain falls off and on.

Bones

This week last year Erik and I were at Woodleaf with our Young Life kids from Fowler and Sanger when we got the call. Jane had gotten word from Mongolia that the staff team had been in a tragic car accident that claimed the lives of three of our brothers and sisters, including Jacki, the national director.

That is why we are here.

Today, we landed in the rainy city of Ulan Bator, in the heart of Mongolia, at the end of the earth. We were greeted by Taivan and Magnei at the airport, and treated to an authentic Mongolian lunch. We discussed plans for camp. Taivan, who is now heading up Young Life in Mongolia, will be giving the club talks and is very excited to practice them with Erik and me. Magnei will be in charge of program, and so we will also spend a lot of time together planning and practicing.

After lunch Erik and I had planned on heading back to the Young Life office and resting after another long day of travel. But Taivan had other plans. He took us to meet the director of Campus Crusade for Christ of Mongolia, Bataa. Then the four of us got in the car. I fell asleep before we were told where we were going. When I woke up, we were in the middle of somewhere. But I still don't know where. Still in Ulan Bator. We entered a house and were greeted by a young man and an older woman who was supported by crutches.

This was Nara, who had been in the accident with Jacki, whose husband had been driving the van. Nara suffered several broken bones in the accident. She showed us x-rays of the fourteen screws in her right femur. She showed us the first copy and how the bones had started to knit back together. Then she showed us the second set of x-rays. That knitting was gone. Where there had been healing, there was a big black void. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I myself have six screws in my hips from surgeries I had four years ago. I had watched as my own x-rays marked the growth of new bone. I had seen how one of the joints never fully healed. But I had never heard of the healing process reversing. I began to feel sympathetic pains in my hips and legs as I watched Nara rubbing her thigh, knowing the discomfort she described. I knew the feeling of waking up in the night with the pain from rolling over, the shot that rings through the body. I know how the cold and rain aggravate the discomfort. I know the helpless feeling, knowing I can't do a thing for myself, let alone serve or support a family. I still can't see what God is doing in this woman's life, but she is certain that the Lord has a plan, and that His plan is good.

We had the privilege of praying with and for Nara, and for Puche, her husband who is now serving time in prison because of the accident. We prayed that the Lord would bring healing to them both, that he would give Puche a boldness in the faith that would spread throughout the inmates, and that his sentence would be reduced so that they would be reunited.

We then had the honor of informing Nara that Young Life planned to support her family during the next few years, until her husband is released.

After sharing a very modest meal, but incredibly generous meal with Nara and her son, we headed back to the apartment. It's a wet, quiet night in the city called Red Hero. But the apartment is warm, and so are the people we are with.

The Mandate of Heaven

The sun rises early in Beijing. Of course, both Erik and I were up before it made its way into the sky. Not that we could see it through the dense haze that shrouds this city. There's a reason they thing that red, rather than yellow, symbolizes the sun and good fortune.

After a light breakfast, we met our tour guide. Ming Li has a job that suits her well. She loves nothing more than to talk and to talk about her Chinese culture. She went with us to the Great Wall and explained that the farmers had originally built several walls to protect themselves from invading herdsmen, but that eventually the walls were united along the crest of the mountains as a defense against foreign invaders.

On our way to the Summer Palace, Ming Li gave us a crash course in the history of China, through the revolving dynasties and how each emperor strove for eternal life and eternal power. She also pointed out how each dynasty came crashing down as the emperor either failed to produce a male heir or lost touch with the common people, getting lost in his own decadence and exploiting his subjects.

Ming Li explained that every emperor was given the divine right to rule from the King of Heaven, and that as long as he acted in accordance to the King's will, he retained that right to reign. And every emperor eventually lost touch with the people and stepped outside of the will of the King of Heaven and was therefore overthrown.

In high school and college textbooks, this is often referred to as the Mandate of Heaven. The cycle is just as Ming Li described. Emperors eventually lose their empire because they lose sight of their calling.

Today, I realized that I, too, have a Mandate of Heaven. The Mandate that I have been given is the same that Christ gave each of us before he ascended into heaven himself: "All authority in heaven and on earth have been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matt. 28:18-20).

Ming Li had a lot of opinions about religion. She shared her thoughts on Taoism and Buddhism, and even Christianity and Islam. I can only hope that today we were an honest witness to the love of Jesus Christ in her life. However, I have also been reminded of our calling to the nations, and that on this specific trip, our calling is to the nation of Mongolia, and that we serve a great King of Heaven who desires for his people to know him.

Jet Lag

Erik and I landed safely in Beijing today yesterday afternoon, and made it easily through customs and immigration. Chinese immigration, though slightly intimidating runs very smoothly due to their facial recognition system that is set up at each booth. Within two hours we were at our hotel.

We moved into our room, thankful to find a clean toilet and two comfortable beds, but forced ourselves to go downstairs and explore our new surroundings. We found the indoor pool, and the "authentic" Mongolian gher diner. We ended up settling down to a real authentic Chinese dinner that reminded me of the diner by the railroad tracks back home. Immediately I began to miss Elaine's Cafe and Tuesday night dinners with family, and Vicki telling me what to order.

After dinner we were exhausted but were determined to get on the local time schedule, and so we forced ourselves awake by ordering coffee at the hotel's lounge, Warp 8. They promised live music at 8:00 which turned out to be two women with laptops that played prerecorded drum beats and a man who played the key-tar. They sang well, but we had to laugh. Apparently they were fresh in from the Philippines, but sang American classics, like Abba's "Dancing Queen" and Michael Buble's "I Want to Go Home."

But now jet lag has me awake at 4:15. I've been up since 2:30am lying flat on my back staring at the dark ceiling above my head in loneliness. Now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor in our hotel room, waiting for the morning light, that even George Harrison, for all of his theological eccentricities, knew would come back and bring smiles to their faces.

But I have several friends that have challenged me to speak truth to power, to name struggles, and thus overcome them. These morning hours when I lie awake are the hardest, especially after the few hours I have spent in a culture and a language that I absolutely do not understand. I feel I have no power, no reason for being here. Even with Erik lying in the bed in the other room, I feel alone. And I'm still carrying lies that I tell myself and that others have told me.

I can't hear my own voice. I'm beginning to question why I am here, in China, on my way to Mongolia, working with Young Life in general. It's hard to believe that God has any plan to prosper me, any hope for me, any future.

And yet I try and rest in His truth. I still look for those quiet meadows with still water that He places along my way to restore my soul. I'm told His joy will come with the morning. The morning just can't come soon enough.

Fathers

We just arrived at Gate 102 at SFO, two hours before our departure time. We're both sitting on the floor of the airport, waiting to board, charging our Apple products, and trying to wrap our minds around the fact that in just over twelve hours we'll be in Beijing.

Of course, today is a hard day to leave. I had to leave my parents at the security check point this Fathers' Day. While wrapping him in a big hug, I whispered in my dad's ear, "Happy Fathers' Day, Dad. I love you. But you know I'm on loan. I have a greater Father to serve today."

Today, I travel with two fathers: Erik, who has raised me through Young Life, and is technically old enough, and has been married long enough to legitimately be my father, and my Father in Heaven, whom I go to serve. I'm looking forward to spending the next month with both of them, digging into the heart of Young Life in Mongolia, training, encouraging and equipping, while being trained, encouraged and equipped along the way.

I go into this trip knowing that I have much to offer, but knowing that I have many opportunities to learn. And the Enemy is already actively trying to steal, kill, and destroy every one of those opportunities. For the past year I have struggled with clinical depression that has recently knocked me to the floor. I do not believe that the depression is in and of itself spiritual. It is a biological chemical imbalance. But the Enemy has been using this illness and has been attacking me where I'm weakest. But my Father promises that in our weakness we are made strong.

And so I cling to my Father, my Shepherd who makes me lie down in green meadows by quiet streams, who doesn't abandon me in the valley of the shadow of death, but walks with me daily as I follow him.

T Minus 10

With only ten more days left in this country, it feels like things are closing in incredibly fast. Erik and I have been spending nearly all of our time fundraising for Mongolia, which through your help and by the grace of God is paid for, and for Woodleaf and our first ever Summer Blast, a camping experience for kids who want to go deeper in their search for Christ, which are coming up in July and August.

Most days Erik has been engaged in some form of carpet cleaning, whether in a home or in cars of friends and supporters of Young Life. We have also been doing lots of yard work and other small jobs on the side in the effort to raise money so that kids can go to camp. The best part though, is that we do this alongside our kids. This way our young friends take ownership over their camp experience, and we can better know them before our week away together.

 In Young Life we talk a lot about contact work, or getting to know kids, but I have come to call this fundraising time “pre-cabin talk work.”  It has been such a blessing sitting with Ruben and hearing about his family life. Or listening to Jacob’s big questions. Seeing Leslie’s work ethic. Laughing with Amber, Emily, and Maddy. Joking with Christian, Diego, and Gerardo. It is so good to know these kids before we have the close, personal conversations in our cabin at Woodleaf.

We have also been scrambling to put together our new Summer Blast, which we plan to run every summer for students who have already been to Woodleaf. It is a chance to get away and look deeper into the gospel, to ask questions, and to seek answers together. I can’t give away too much at this point, but we’ll be spending those four days at a cabin at Huntington Lake, with Kayaks provided by local Fowler businesses for our enjoyment and ministry with kids.

On top of all that, I have had several visits to the doctor, trying to get healthy before the trip. I’ve had a rough go of it since my trip to Peru, and really long before that. But I’m pushing through, keeping my head above water, some days swimming strong, others barely able to tread. But there is hope for healing from the truly heavy experiences faced in Peru and thereafter. And I fix my eyes on that hope.

It seems like it was just yesterday that we started talking about the possibility of this trip, but now my bag is by the door, slowly gathering its contents. Sleeping bag? Check. Rain jacket? Check. Shirts, pants, socks, shoes, are all crossed off the list. In just ten short days we will be ready to go.